No matter your taste or persuasion, Hazlewood has a stable of distinguished companions to satisfy your every desire. Experts in rhetoric, etiquette, and parlor games, these savory professionals will never leave you wanting. Skilled conversation, thorough satisfaction, and discretion guaranteed.
Ezmerelda, Queen Of The Fleet
Famous entertainer of sailors and world champion leg wrestler, Ezmerelda is the loving port in any storm.
Ivan The Iron Fist
For those who enjoy brooding company and plotting vengeance, Ivan is sure to leave you breathless.
Sweet Mary
This spoon full of sugar is sure to give you a taste of the very medicine you desire the most. Prepare to have your chimney thoroughly swept!
Willameta
Where for art thou, Romeo? Look to the west and lift the skirts of this setting sun and there you shall discover the secrets of your star-crossed lover.
Mr. Eugene Engleheimer
Do fastidious manners and persnickety equations strike your fancy? Look no further, for here is the sum of all parts!
F.S. Gadfry, Esquire
Do you like riddles? This silver-tongued handy dandy is sure to leave you stumped. Watch your wallet and your heart, you may lose them both!
Grizzly Pete
Perhaps you seek a taste of the wild frontier? If things get out of hand, which they definitely will, it is advised to immediately assume the position of a lifeless corpse and wait until his urges pass.
Goldie Locks
Muscles and a pouty mouth? This hot bowl of porridge is sure to make the bed feel just right!
Antigone
Betwixt my beating heart! There’s more than a petticoat, sub-petticoat, pantaloons, woolen leggings, stockings, garters, and unmentionables beneath the folds of this provocative frock.
Madame Switch
Have you misbehaved in class today? It’s straight to the corner and a dunce cap for you. Make yourself ready for a lesson you’ll never forget!
Marie Antoinette
Have your cake and eat it too! Be treated like a king wallowing in the bosom of luxury while all your troubles are left starving at the gates.